by daniel marks (december 2004)
Call this prayer a hypocritical oath if you feel like you need to, but whatever it may inspire in you when you read it, the writing was exigent for me personally. It lets me know and everyone else know that I am a being like any of us - one striving to be conscious and to create change with the actions of my life.
May I be a better person... and a better human being, to be more humane in the most cherished sense of the word... to counteract the horrible deeds of others' with their violence... so that with every malicious act that is committed with full awareness of the harm that will ensue I can conjure up an act that obliterates it with good deed, something that people can remember and smile and heal.
May I be a better son... remembering the times that my parents gave everything they had to me, from the past to the present to the future.... every time I think of the selflessness that was given to me, the love, the admiration, the respect from the time that I first blinked, I crave the ingenuity to repay their gifts with my own... to become worthy of all of the tremendous energy that was granted to me as the ultimate gift... to fill my parents' heads with memories of equal power and breadth... to make my parents proud, and to fill them with a sense of completeness.
May I be a better brother... to understand the world more fully through the advance knowledge of the most stimulating peers that I could have... to acknowledge that they have broken trails in the deep snow of life, and even when I broke my own trails it was with encouragement and support... to recognize their contributions to the world and to show the same ingenuity and dedication to life as they have... to continue to share our common pursuit of seeking and dealing with our isms so that we can be better brothers and sisters to the species at large... so that I can make my brother and sister be overcome with laughter, surprise, and admiration...
May I be a better friend... refusing to unintentionally hurt my friends, to break the cycle of speaking badly of people when they are not around... bringing their warmth into community conversation when they are not present... remembering everything that each and every single one of them has given to me and thus affected my personality... no matter how far away they may be or whether or not I will ever see them again... letting the experiences we've shared continue to bring lessons of pain and compassion to my life, tears and giggles and all.... giving them something unique that they can bring with them to the farthest regions of the globe as they have given me.
May I be a better lover... more sensitive, understanding, respect, and appreciative in our mutual interactions... so that dynamics will arise that were both unpredictable and crucial to the evolution of our relationship... by being explorative, resilient, and unwilling to compromise the value of a potent emotion.... willing and able to share and leave a lasting impression that will improve future relationships through our learning and enjoyin experiences together.
May I be a better musician... and not forget that music my passion, my highest and most absolute act with which every single tonal conjuring I affect the world around me... effecting positive change and refusing to be intimidated... refusing to forget that every independent album that I release is a success if only because of the monumental amount of fear and anxiety that I must overcome in order to do so... continuing to make an impact upon the world with my music, for it is the one thing that permeates my waking and dreaming life that will grow only more compelling with time... so that whoever enjoys my music will receive something different from it each time they listen.
May I be a better worker... laboring until others around me pass out, wake up, and then pass out again... so that I may learn trades just for the sheer joy of the effort involved and the acquisition of dexterity... to impress those who require my assistance enough that they ask for it again... that no iota of energy I pour into work contributes to a regime of death and violence, but instead in at least some tiny way towards helping others... bearing in mind my priviledged position in society with every exertion so that I may attempt to earn what has been placed upon me.
May I be a better organism... remembering that I am a part of an ecological community, a holarchy, a component of a complex emergent system that we call Gaia just to give it a friendly face... because somewhere between our ancestors and our generation our species has forgotten much... with the patience to learn the art of living with this beautiful planet instead of against it... with the insight to avoid a desperate path of guilt and self-deprecation, instead affirming the action of finding a better quality of life for myself that I appreciate... returning what has been given to me to the system of life within which I am embedded.
May I be a better dreamer... remembering that there is time and that I will pursue my dreams if I have a long enough life in this physical vessel... no matter how inconsequential they may be so that I may strive for them always... preserving wildness in me, and yet using goals to acheive whatever future plans I may be foolish or wise enough to make... so that I forget that what I am doing with every single moment of my life was once but a dream that I have now accomplished.
May I continue to enjoy life... by being open to the process of life as we know it.... continuing to find glee in the qualities that for others are obfuscated by trivialities... by letting myself be charmed by leaves, rocks, bark, moss, and anything else that I can or cannot decorate my room with.
May you share with me... what I can do to be better in life, using your own experiences as a rosetta stone to provide wisdom, inspiration, and honesty... a gesture that proves that you know I am trying, constantly, to be better in this world... what you can to help me help myself... because in return I will share with you.
May you take this seriously, this prayer for new year. May I take this seriously, this prayer for new year. Thank you.
::: music ::: erth ::: audio acrobats (collaborations)
::: More Writings by Daniel Marks: :::
fundamentals ::: information age ::: prayers for new year ::: gaia theory ::: acrasin ::: lavender sky ::: kissing elbows
:::
Copyright 2005, Daniel J. Marks, all rights reserved.
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::: Information :::
Daniel Marks was last seen Nov. 10, when a driver took him to the bottom of the road that leads up to Waimea Canyon [Kauai] for a five-day hike, said his sister, Sue Marks. Marks, who was traveling alone, had been expected to leave the island Nov. 16 and meet his sister in Minnesota to attend her wedding and vacation with her and her husband in Central America, she said. He never arrived.
if you have any information regarding Daniel Marks, please use one of the contacts below:
218-591-6554 (Sue Marks)
970-581-3666 (Ron Marks)
218-349-5283 (Mary Falk)
or email susanmarks@yahoo.com